I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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