I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
