Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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