I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize