Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
