Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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