There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize