just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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