apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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