your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ladies don't puke and tell
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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