You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize