with your own penis?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
