As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
