Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
