beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
