I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
4 words: hood of his car
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
