I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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