He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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