I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
