the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
