What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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