oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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