Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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