I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
