i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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