Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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