don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
