I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
