I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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