Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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