Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
