Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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