how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
