i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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