u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
