11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
