You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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