too bad you live with your parents still
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
