I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
