Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
