Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize