i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
