we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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