btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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