apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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