I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
