omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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