Your mouth is God's brothel.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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