So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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