we have officially lost it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
