she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
