that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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