shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
