We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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