A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.