whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.