I'm an idiot
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dating After Heartbreak
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"