dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.