Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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