We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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