I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
