Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
