then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
