i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
