ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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