he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
