ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize