I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
