I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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