I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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