ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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